88 // Welcoming Winter
Seasonal shifts for our habits, routines, and mealtime expectations
On today's episode, I am sharing a little snippet from my most recent Q&A call from within the Mealtimes Made Easy Method.
On this particular call, one of the moms was sharing how she's been sick and how she feels like they got thrown into survival mode.
Despite all her good intentions and proactive efforts through the course (opening for enrollment again in January!), she was asking for advice on how to handle meal planning and feeding her family when life forces you to slow down and take it one day at a time.
Because I already had planned to talk about the seasonal shift into Winter, I thought I would share this little audio with you all as well.
We talked about:
What it looks like practically and tactically to give yourself grace
How to come up with a "baseline" that survival mode can operate off of and future habits can stack off of (as energy allows and seasons shift)
The concern over "variety" (or lack thereof) in seasons when you are barely making it (and not offering the variety you aspire to give your kids)
I know this episode is going to encourage many of you, whether you find yourself in a "winter" of sorts - literally or figuratively!
For more on the "Rhythms of Real Life" Bonus Blueprint, check out Mealtimes Made Easy Method (enrollment opens again in January 2023!).
SHOWNOTES:
Sign up for my upcoming, online workshop here.
Join my email community here.
Leave me a voice message to be answered on the podcast here.
Find out more about Mealtimes Made Easy Method here.
Work with me 1:1 here.
Listen to this episode of The Veggies & Virtue Podcast now!
Full Episode Transcription
Please note this a raw transcription. If something doesn’t read correctly, toggle to that timestamp in the show so that you can listen in on what was actually being said!
[00:00:00] Just like looking at the bigger picture, right? That variety will come over time and I don't have to make big changes, right? Like smaller changes will lead to, right? More effective beginning in the future. , I wanna say it's in phase four. I talk about this, but you know, thinking of it in terms of like a pattern.
[00:00:20] Like find what a is a, is like the most survival mode. Like this just works. People like it. It's non-stressful. It's easy to make. It just fits with our life right now and know that that definition is going to change over time. So you're not. I think sometimes we can be like, oh, I feel like a horrible mom if this is my A, you know, it doesn't have to be your a forever, it's your A right now, and that's okay.
[00:00:45] Hey Mama, I'm Ashley and welcome to the Veggies and Virtue Podcast. In this podcast, you will find simple menu ideas, kitchen organizational systems spelled out for mom life, and feeding tips and tricks that are both evidence-based in grace. I believe that you can find flexibility when it comes to feeding your family so that you can feel calm, capable, and connected in the kitchen.
[00:01:04] As a registered dietician and Christian mom of three myself, I want you to break free from the mealtime battles and to feel equipped while feeding your kids all day long. Pull up a stool at my kitchen counter and let me pour you a cup of coffee and say a quick prayer for you. It's time to chat about the meal times, messes moments, and ministry of motherhood.
[00:01:26] So in this episode, I actually decided to collect a little snippet from my most recent group coaching call within the Mealtimes Made Easy method. This is a monthly call that we've been doing starting in 2023. I'm, I'm actually gonna do 'em bimonthly. So every other week, all get together with the members in mealtimes Made easy method to just be available for q and a accountability, and just that added encouragement and support and so on.
[00:01:51] This particular. , one of the moms was sharing how she's been sick, and as so many of us have been through this fall, if our kids aren't sick, we're sick, our husband's sick. There's just a lot of sickness going around. And as moms, I think it real makes us realize how vulnerable we are that our whole life can just get derailed overnight.
[00:02:10] Literally, like with the spike of a fever, all of our plans can go out the window. All of our good intentions go away, even if we don't want them to. And it's just the reality of it. And rather than getting down on our. Finding ways that we can create habits that are sustainable even in those seasons is super important.
[00:02:29] So I already had planned for today to talk about that seasonal shift. If you were here back in a couple months ago, when I did the seasonal shift for fall, that was really a popular episode. I'd encourage you to listen to it because. It's not specific to the actual season of fall. What I want us to reflect on is more the rhythms and routines that we get in in certain seasons of life.
[00:02:51] And this is something I talk about at length in the bonus blueprint of mealtimes made easy method because the whole mealtimes made easy method is intended to be used in all seasons of life. It's not something where you have to wait to sign up or get started. When life magically presents you with this unicorn batch of time, because as moms we know that doesn't exist.
[00:03:11] And even when we think it does exist, a kid gets sick and the cycle perpetuate or you know, continues. And so, instead. My objective in creating the course this way was to help families realize how we have it stack in different seasons. But the reality is, is our baseline is what I consider kind of the winter, the conservation mode, and the season where we just don't have a lot of extra capacity, and yet what we find ourselves doing in that season is hugely, I.
[00:03:42] to what follows in the future seasons because our spring and our seasons where we're, you know, planting new seed and excited about new growth has a very different energy. But it also is just at operating at a different level than we are when we're in our winter. And so I just wanna encourage you with this little segment.
[00:04:02] As I was talking with this mom, and after we got off this call, I was just thinking about how. much. It really played into what I already had planned for today's episode, and so I just hope that it'll encourage you. I hope that whatever season you find yourself in, you will know that you can make baby steps here and now.
[00:04:23] If you give yourself that space and that grace to do so, if you're aspirational and you're out of touch with what your reality is, you're gonna feel more frustrated and more defeated, and more on that. If someone asks me a question about this, I might break down. But instead, if you can find that each season offers new opportunity and each of those seasons is so beautiful and is so full of potential, but we have to seize the potential of each season in order to continue to grow month after month, season after season, year after year.
[00:04:56] How are things going? We're doing okay. . I, I appreciate what Kimberly asked because I feel like that really resonates with me too. Yeah. Kind of stalled out at the end of phase one. Right now, I just feel like we're in a season where it's just, I feel very overwhelmed with even just simple decisions with feeding and meal planning and all of that.
[00:05:18] And so yeah, I'm just kind of in that stage. Ah, what am I doing today? . Mm-hmm. . So if you have any encouragement or just wisdom for a simple reset to kinda make it easier, that's kinda what we're needing today, right? Kirby? . Yeah. Well, especially I think too, when you know you are sick and everything and it's like you just realize how you have to re resume to like bare minimum survival mode.
[00:05:49] Like there's no extra capacity, there's no extra energy, there's no extra bandwidth. Like it's just like what can we, you describe, especially when you don't feel well, cuz you want rest in the hours that you would likely otherwise. Trying to kind of overextend yourself to do all the things. And so knowing that you're probably not to this point in the course yet, I think that just for some encouragement, I would jump to the bonus blueprint.
[00:06:11] It's rhythms if you, it's, it's very low tactical, practical, like it's not like there's a lot of homework and like hard work. It's more just encouragement that there are seasons. and we have to recognize that like there are some weeks that we are like, I got nothing and that is winter. And so you can just go straight to the winter rhythm and it'll help you kind of think through like, because that is where everything else builds on survival mode, our baseline, our like bare minimum competency of like when I got nothing left, this is where I am.
[00:06:41] Because that's where we start to have it stacked. Because when we're. , you know, life is going smoothly and we feel like we can add all the things. That's where we always wanna operate out of, but that's just not realistic. So I would encourage you right now, maybe just for encouragement to listen to that, but also to think through it in that like, What is the bare minimum that you feel like helps keep things going from a meal planning perspective?
[00:07:02] From a grocery ordering? It might be that you just press reorder cart on your entire grocery cart from last week just to get the staples. It might be that right now you're making. Monday, Wednesday, Friday is one lunch, Tuesday, Thursday is another lunch. And it's just ones that like are causing less stress because you can be more intentional with those and to begin to kind of start thinking through some of the other things that come throughout the course.
[00:07:26] It might be for dinner that you're like, you know, I always go back to like the base of like when we have company in town or kids are sick or other things are going on and I'm like, I just don't have the capacity to like branch out. Where is like my baseline, and so I'm gonna be like, okay, Monday we're gonna make this, Tuesdays we make this.
[00:07:44] And it's like, that's what I just go back to. So if I don't have the capacity to meal plan or to think of things, think through like what are the three to five meals that you can make with low effort? And it might be Monday, I'm getting my groceries, so I'm gonna get a rotisserie chicken. and pre-made mashed potatoes and a bag salad.
[00:08:01] Like I, so I don't even have to cook the night at grocery shop. But I think giving yourself some of that space and giving yourself some of that grace buys you some capacity elsewhere where you can say, okay, I'm only gonna cook Tuesday, Thursday. Okay, we love lasagna. I'm gonna make lasagna. Tuesday leftovers are another day.
[00:08:17] You know, just go to what, like, sounds, not just bearable, but sounds like it gives you a little additional bandwidth because it's not an extra thing, it's just. I can do this because I think when you find yourself in that kinda like, we just gotta make it day by day, you know, it's like you almost need to.
[00:08:37] do something today that buys yourself a little extra bandwidth tomorrow. And so I think by you planning some of these things, and maybe even just saying, you know, through the month of December, because God knows every mom everywhere is like December is a lot. And that's without being sick and without anything else happening, which we all know something, you know, will come out of the blue.
[00:08:55] So maybe just say like, for the next three weeks, I'm gonna just try and rotate. from a variety perspective. I give you my blessing that like, it's okay if you're make eating the exact same beisser chicken, mashed potatoes and salad every Monday for the next three weeks or four weeks to get you into January, where you're like, okay, but my goal is.
[00:09:14] To conserve enough energy mentally and physically to have a plan that I'm gonna begin building off of that. But I think so often we just become really aspirational that like we're floundering at our baseline. And so I would say just kind of try and see what that flow feels like for you. Like what would that look like in feeding your family?
[00:09:35] when you're kind of at that like, I don't have energy, I don't have capacity. Cuz honestly I think that's one of the best places to start because that's where you build off of. Where if you start where you're really aspirational and then you hit that point, you almost look back with like guilt or shame or self-loathing of like, ah, I was doing so good and I fell off the bandwagon and now well I give up.
[00:09:55] You know? And instead just realize what can you do that feels doable right now? Even if it's starting with like, You know, mac and cheese can be two nights outta the week. You know, like whatever it needs to be, that just feels like it buys you a little bit of margin and then see like, okay, well I did that.
[00:10:12] Okay, so maybe it's mac and cheese and strawberries on the second night. Okay, well maybe it's, you know, you can just kind of begin to branch out a little bit. But I think you have to give yourself the permission to have a little bit of that capacity in order to begin even having the ability to make some of those strides.
[00:10:30] Yeah, I really appreciate that. Good to have grace and compassion for ourselves and for myself, I should say. And yeah, just really simplify things, you know, I. tried like a new recipe recently and I was like, I shouldn't have done, like, I should have just done something. I know that everyone will love and it will work for two, three breakfasts.
[00:10:53] Mm-hmm. , you know, and this was like a flop and I'm like, oh, precious energy. You know? And I appreciate also that you touched on like the variety because LA's in kindergarten two six and Kirby is one. and I feel like we kind of get in those ruts where they just want like the same foods over and over and I don't blame them.
[00:11:15] I'm someone who l I would be totally fine eating like the same food most of the time with little variations. So I might be part of that problem. But just like looking at the bigger picture, right, that variety will come over time and I don't have to make big changes, right? Like smaller changes will lead.
[00:11:38] More effective in the future. , I wanna say it's in phase four. I talk about this, but you know, thinking of it in terms of like a pattern, like find what a is a, is like the most survival mode. Like this just works. People like it, it's non-stressful, it's easy to make, it just fits with our life right now. I know that that definition is going to change over time.
[00:11:59] So you're. . You know, I think sometimes we can be like, oh, I feel like a horrible mom if this is my A, you know, it doesn't have to be your a forever, it's your A right now, and that's okay. And then in terms of variety, I think we so often go from a is what works and then we go to Pinterest and we find a million new ideas and then we just, there's like this giant abyss between what works for our family and what we're aspiring for.
[00:12:21] So I think from a variety perspective, I would say find your A, like in your winter, find your functioning. Lower stress options of just like, if I serve this every day, we'd be good noting that the goal is not to serve it every day, but if you could or if you would, you'd be like, you know what? My kids would be happy with pancakes every morning and apple sauce for snack, grilled cheese for lunch, spaghetti for dinner, and a banana milk for bedtime snack every day.
[00:12:47] If we did that every day, they would. , of course, nutritionally and as a D, like from a feeding perspective, I would say that that could come back and bite you later on. But I would say like, just define what that is, because I think sometimes that's the easiest starting place when you're kind of trying to find the survival mode point and then think, okay, what's B?
[00:13:04] What's the next like, oh, I mean, it takes a little more effort. Or like my next, my, you know, second best option. Okay, well they like eggs and English muffins. That's pretty easy. You know, they like, Cheerios and goldfish for snack, you know, whatever. And then like kind of spell out what that would be for day two, and then see how many you feel like you have.
[00:13:25] Because for some people it may be we are rotating A B, A B, A B throughout the week, and that is just our week right now. . And then if next week is a little easier and you're not sick and you feel like you have the BA bandwidth, maybe you're like, I'm gonna bring in a C so I can do A, B, C, a, B, C. Because the goal is that we're continuing to add variety and that we can continue to add range to our kids' diets.
[00:13:48] But so often we're, we're at A, and we're looking at Z, and we're just like, Ugh, I'm surely not giving my child the variety that they need. So I think if you can define what a. , define what maybe B is and define kind of how far you just be like, these are our core four meals. These are the core four days that like if I had to tell anyone how to feed my family and I was not here, say you get, you know, you're outta commission tomorrow.
[00:14:11] What would you say? These are the four breakfasts. The four lunches, the four dinners that you can serve with ease. What would those be? And then just see what rotation of those seems to flow in this season, knowing that the variety can continue to come. . What we don't want is to offer the same a a a A every day, because then when our kid burns out on it, we don't have a backup plan.
[00:14:30] Then we have much more heightened stress because we're like, oh no, I didn't come up with a backup plan. So when you do A, B, a, B, It helps to reinforce to our kids. We don't eat the same thing every day. You know, there is gonna be a variety and over time that'll expand, but it also gives you a backup so you know, as you begin to incorporate other options.
[00:14:51] So I would just encourage you to kind of start with thinking of like, what is your baseline survival? And then the next tier or two or three or however you feel like you might have, and just try and kind of cycle through those until you feel like, okay, today's the day I have a little more. Capacity or energy or time or you know, my kid's just in a better mood and wants to cook this thing with me.
[00:15:13] So we're gonna try this and then, you know, maybe try that, but don't have the pressure that you need to like every day because the variety will come. And obviously our goal is to get there as quickly and as easily as we can, but we need to make sure the foundations are in place so that you can be success.
[00:15:30] If this episode was helpful to you, encouraging to you, just offered some nice solidarity for you, I wanna encourage you to hop on my next workshop. It's a free one day, one hour workshop that I'm going to be doing in just one month. So right as we get into the new year, you can come join me and several other like-minded moms who are dealing with the same struggles as you and I will help walk you through how you can begin setting your family up for success in the new year.
[00:16:00] I'm really excited to share with you more about my mealtime easy method and to give you some really easy. Applicable action steps that you can take right then and there after the workshop. So if you want get signed up, go to veggies virtue com slash workshop and I'll see you.
